Чтобы прервать молчание и создать сеть поддержки для женщин, которые столкнулись с этой проблемой, психолог Джессика Цукер запустила аккаунт в Instagram ihadamiscarriage (У меня был выкидыш), где женщины могут рассказать свои истории.
Цукер создала учетную запись после перенесенного выкидыша на 16 неделе беременности вторым ребенком. Она начала писать о своем собственном опыте в социальных сетях, используя хэштэг #IHadAMiscarriage, а затем призвала других делать то же самое.
"Мой личный опыт был способом показать другим женщинам по всему миру, что нет абсолютно никакого позора в потере ребенка", - сказала она изданию Self.
"Моя первая беременность была гладкой, легкой и прекрасной, - говорит она. - В то время на работе я встречала женщин, рассказывающих о выкидыше, рождении мертвого плода, потере ребенка... Это не вызывало во мне беспокойства, я чувствовала, что со мной все будет в порядке. Несколько лет спустя мы решили попробовать еще раз. Я быстро забеременела, но на 16 неделе у меня начались кровотечения".
В своем аккаунте Джессика начала собирать истории разных женщин, которые пережили выкидыш.
"Исследования в подавляющем большинстве указывают на то, что женщины испытывают стыд и вину после потери беременности. Мне нужно было это продумать. Как психолог, вы обычно не делитесь деталями своей жизни. Но [потеря беременности] не говорит ничего о том, кем вы являетесь или о неспособности вашего тела", - говорит автор аккаунта ihadamiscarriage.
Кроме того, Цукер разработала футболки со словом "Мама", написанным рядом с радугой. "Радужный ребенок" - это термин, часто используемый родителями, которые забеременели после перенесенного выкидыша.
Некоторые из сообщений аккаунта свидетельствует о том, что женщины с гордостью носят свои радужные футболки, однако большое количество женщин, перенесших выкидыш, тихо описывают свое горе.
@moonsproutmama shares: "I cherished every second, counted every day, tracked every week with this little one, but our time together was short + bittersweet. _ There were weeks of blood testing. My hormones were simply "too low". We were just dealt the most casual, but lethal blow. There would be no other explanation or condolences... _ I was in disbelief + filled with resentment. This wasn't really happening. How could this happen? I bled for days. What could I have done differently? Was it my stress level? The CONSTANT (3rd party) dramatics? My lack of eating + sleeping? The blame game. Our life was upside down at the time. It could have been any one, if not the combination of all those factors. _ We were blessed soon after with our son, but I chose to keep this pregnancy + our loss private. How can one truly convey such joy while it's laced with grief + fear? I clung to my growing baby's well being everyday during those precious months. Always dreading the what ifs even right up until the moment he was placed in my arms. _ I lost this baby a year ago. It's finally come full circle, but the healing has seemingly just begun. I'm sharing this to kill the stigma. To do away with the anxiety that creeps in daily. To silence the what ifs that continue to haunt me. I'm sharing this to end the self blame + shame. We are 1 in 4. _ I am ready." _ #IHadAMiscarriageДайджест главных новостейБесплатная email-рассылка только лучших материалов от редакторов NVРассылка отправляется с понедельника по пятницу
I'm still hurt by my mother, specifically about how she treated me just days following my 16-week miscarriage. _ The sting of not feeling seen, understood, attuned to is hard to forget. It's hard to wrap my heart around, especially now that I'm a mother. I want my children to feel that I am present, no matter the circumstance. _ Her recent visit triggered memories from that time period and left me feeling soggy-minded. Just blah. _ It is no wonder I felt so alone back then, unable to secure a consistent maternal life-raft as I waded through the horror of my experience and the terror that lay ahead. _ My mother's love is massive, and yet sometimes so are her limitations. _ Last night while cuddling with my daughter I couldn't help but think, "If she were to suffer a pregnancy loss, would she feel my care through and through, for the long haul grief can be?" I only hope the answer would be unequivocally YES. I strive. And I am grateful to my mother for all that she is and all that she isn't, as it provides inspiration to stretch. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #motherhood #grief #loss #1in4 // Photo by @prue_stent found via @ignant.
Mother's Day is complicated for those of us who have lost pregnancies/babies. Even when a rainbow baby follows, there are gnawing feelings. Grief lingers. The loss is permanent. There is no filling of the crevice it creates. And when we are nonchalantly asked by well-meaning strangers on Mother's Day (and any other day for that matter), "How many children do you have?" what are we to say? What are we to feel? How can we adequately describe the complexity, the fissure, the transformative nature of loss?! _ A huge heap of gratitude to @huffpost and @pregnantchicken for featuring one of my pregnancy/baby loss cards today - a card that aims to support women on this potentially challenging holiday. _ Anticipation of these Hallmark holidays can sometimes feel even worse than the day itself. Take heart, you've got a robust tribe of women who support you and understand the ache through and through. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #mothersday #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #stillbirth #infantloss #grief #loss #1in4 #motherhood #lossmoms #rainbowbaby // Photo found via @the.pinklemonade. Enamel pin by @littlewomangoods // Pregnancy loss cards are available in my online shop. Link in bio.
RAINBOW MAMA + BABE TEES ARE IN STOCK _ I'm over the moon to announce our collaboration with the ever-amazing @feministapparel! They've added new diverse tee options featuring our rainbow mama and babe designs. _ RAINBOW MAMA + BABE TEES, TANKS, SWEATSHIRTS, LONG-SLEEVED TEES, + ONESIES ARE AVAILABLE NOW! INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING. _ You spoke, we listened. _ Tons of shapes, sizes, and styles. Gray AND white. Head over to the Feminist Apparel shop (link in profile) and buy to your hearts' content. _ There is no shame in loss. No silence. No stigma. Nope, none. We wear our stories with pride! _ The lovely and amazing @halfietruths is pictured here wearing one of our original rainbow mama tees. _ #IHadAMiscarriage #rainbowmama#rainbowbabe #feministapparel#miscarriage #pregnancyloss #stillbirth#infantloss #pregnancyafterloss #1in4#motherhood // Tees designed by @annerobincallig.
@loss_and_love shares: "It's come to my attention that miscarriage is a taboo subject. I'm not sure why since 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. This rule that you have to wait until after the first trimester to announce your pregnancy "in case something happens", then when it does happen you have to go through it completely alone as if you're not totally broken. I decided I didn't want to go through it alone and that I wanted others to know they didn't have to either, so I decided to share my story and heartbreak with my own world on social media. I came to find out that this wasn't okay with some people, that it made them uncomfortable. I heard from others that I was sharing my story for attention, or to make people feel badly for me, or because I wasn't processing my grief the "right" way. I share my story because miscarriage is common but not a common topic in society. I want the women + families experiencing pregnancy loss to know that they are not alone, that there is nothing wrong with them, that they do not need to feel ashamed or like their loss is something they have to hide. I am not the only one who has felt their own heart break when they found out their baby's heart stopped beating. I'm not the only one who cried when they saw another couple announce they would have a baby on the same day their baby was supposed to be born. I know I'm not the only one who gets mad and wonders why this happened to me. I'm not the only one who gets jealous of every baby bump they see or wonders when it will finally be my turn. I share because I know so many people who suffer in silence + have read my story and come to me and said "thank you for being bold enough to share" or "I'm so glad to know that I'm not alone". Those people are the reasons #whyishare and why I'll continue to share my journey with anyone who wants to come along. You are strong, you are beautiful + you are never alone. As part of this campaign, I encourage you to please share your story with #mylossstory and #whyishare, tagging my page @loss_and_love as well as @ihadamiscarriage so we can continue encouraging those who've experienced loss + educating those who have not." _ #IHadAMiscarriage
Check out these beauties in their rainbow mama + babe tees! @lauramwyant shares: "Starting 2017 with appreciation through and through." _ We love receiving your photos and stories with the tees + enamel pins. Keep em coming! _ A NEW SHIPMENT OF TEES IS DUE TO ARRIVE TODAY! They are available for purchase in my online shop. Link in profile. Stay tuned for some new things coming soon!!! _ #IHadAMiscarriage #rainbowbaby #rainbowmama #motherhood #grief #loss #pregnancyafterloss #1in4
- Читайте также: Красота ожидания. Натали Портман снялась в клипе Джеймса Блейка на последней неделе беременности